“Finding Happiness”

A sermon by parishioner Patrick Foster

“Finding Happiness”

This past week I was reflecting on happiness, and how to achieve it. I recalled several moments in my life when I was given lessons in finding happiness.

I don’t know if you’ve ever eaten in a soup kitchen but I have and have learned some things from the experience. The people you meet there are often a mixed lot; some are homeless and living on the streets, grateful for an hour’s respite from the cold and loneliness. Others are old people who have homes but who run out of money before the next Social Security check arrives, so they go to the soup kitchen where they can get a good lunch and often a second meal packaged for the evening. There are also handicapped persons who live on disability checks that just don’t stretch far enough. Some of the people you meet are angry at their situation, some are used to it, and a few unfortunate souls are living at the edge of despair, about to give up on life.

I went to the soup kitchen after I had convinced the company I worked for at the time to make a cash donation. I wanted to see what a soup kitchen was all about. When I got there, I was treated to a lunch of hot dog soup – which was actually tastier than it sounds – with bread and butter and a small square of cake for dessert. I sat with the homeless, the elderly, the poor, and the unfortunate. We talked about common interests: the weather, the kids, the news, and so forth. I was dressed plainly and they treated me as an equal. I did the same for them. I told a few jokes and so did they, and it ended up being almost like any get together among friends. I went away realizing that the folks I’d shared lunch with were no different than me, which should not be surprising since we share a common bond – we’re all children of God. I think sometimes we forget that.

It’s important to try to be loving and generous with everyone we meet, because that’s what Christians are about. I’ve heard that if you want to keep the things you have – prosperity, comfort, happiness – you have to give them away to others less fortunate. I try to do it because I remember when I was at some of the lowest points of my life – jobless, broke, facing a bleak future – people helped me. It didn’t take all that much: a hug, a few sincere words of encouragement, an invitation to lunch. Time and time again, the simple kindness of people – some of them strangers – helped me to continue on, to not surrender to the dark.

I recall reading an article in the 1960’s about an American who visited India. India was very different back then compared to today. The man had arranged for a taxi to be waiting for him at the airport. When he stepped inside the taxi, he saw the driver’s head was bowed in prayer. Curious, he asked what the man was praying for. “I am thanking God for this taxicab” the man replied. “Wait a minute”, said the American- “you’re praying for your taxi?”. “Oh yes”, the Hindu said, “because with it I am able to earn a living, to have a place to live, and to feed my family. You see, sir, many great things flow from this taxi”.

When I read that I felt humbled. I didn’t know how to express what the man was saying until years later when I heard a short prayer I hadn’t heard before. “Dear God, let me not have what I want, but instead, let me want what I have”. It’s a simple request to learn to enjoy what life has given us and to not waste time worrying over the things we haven’t got.

A couple of years ago I had to drop off one of my antique cars at a repair shop in Bridgeport. I took the train back to Milford and decided to walk around downtown a little bit before calling Diane to pick me up. After a while I stopped to rest on a bench in a bus shelter across from the green. There was a young man sitting there waiting for the bus and as my usual practice, I struck up a conversation – most of you know how much I talk. “How’s it going young fella?” I asked. He smiled and said things were good. “I spent the day walking around Milford. I love it here and I visit whenever I can”. From the way he spoke I suspected he had a learning disability. I asked him where he lived and he replied, “Right now, I’m living under a bridge in West Haven. It’s pretty good and its safe.” I asked him why he didn’t move into a homeless shelter and he explained to me that the shelters only let you stay six months. “So, in warm weather I’ve got my spot under the bridge; then, when the weather starts to turn cold, I move into the shelter. It works out really well.” I asked him how he became homeless and he replied that he used to live with his father but one day the police came and took his father away. With no income himself, he was forced to leave the apartment. Apparently, he doesn’t have any other relatives. He said he missed his father a lot. Then a few moments later, he told me, with a big smile, that today was a special day because it was his birthday. I couldn’t think of anything to say or do other than to wish him a happy birthday. But then I thought to check my wallet – unfortunately I only had $20, but I wanted to help make his day more special. So, I asked “Can I give you something for your birthday?” He said yes, and I gave him the twenty saying, ‘Buy yourself some ice cream or cake or whatever you want and enjoy the rest of this beautiful day. God loves you”. I wish I had done more for him and I’ve regretted not doing so ever since. But truthfully, I couldn’t think of anything else to do. Later I realized the young man was living the prayer I mentioned – God let me not have the things I want but to want the things I have. Even in that poor situation, he was happier than some billionaires I could mention.

I really believe some of the unhappiest people in the world are the ultra-rich. Persons worth billions of dollars waste money trying to gratify themselves rather than helping the poor. They spend millions upon millions just to be able to brag that they have flown in outer space. Yet, many of them remain terribly unhappy with life.

This week I hope you’ll pray for the young man I spoke of and for all people caught in difficult circumstances. And remember to be happy with the many blessings you’ve been given rather than be discontented with the ones you haven’t.

Amen.